And I still am stuck on the same weight.
Almost a couple of weeks ago, I had my second ultrasound and it was done in Sydney X-ray. Ultrasounds just cost way a lot higher here than it does in the Philippines, I tell you. But what I had was a routine scan which showed us the cephalo-caudal development of baby girl. If I'm not mistaken, this is usually done between the 18th and 20th week of gestation since at this point in time, almost every fetus is of the same size and the development of each organ is at the same pace. I think. And of course, it was really hard for me, or for anyone for that matter to book an appointment for my pre-natal check up. No clinic or hospital would actually take me in since I am not giving birth here. Australia, you suck. Anyway, let's not go into details of that unfortunate fact. So for almost two months, I've been driving myself mad because I was worried about this little bugger inside me. As I've said on my previous post, I've been trying to hear her heart beat through a steth but to no avail. As it turned out, my nursing skills are as rustic as a century-old nail, I searched for her FHT an inch and a half below my navel and good Lord! When the technician looked for her FHT, it was on the LLQ. Bright kaau ko sah?
Anyway, I had to had a full bladder for that scan alone and it was really uncomfortable for me since she was probing and prodding on my belly, on my full bladder. And I really thought I would pee right then and there.
I was just excited to find out if my baby was a girl or a boy. It really doesn't matter whatever my baby was as long as it's healthy and growing normally inside sans prenatal vitamins at that time. She was moving a lot and gave the technician a difficult time in measuring her and even checking her gender. I think we were in there for 45 minutes. But it was all worth it. Hearing her heartbeat and seeing her that big and moving around was well worth all the nausea and vomiting and dizziness I experienced.
Up until now, it still feels surreal that this tiny being is inside me, alive and kicking me at her own convenience. Every time I feel her move just makes me smile like an idiot because she really does make me happy. And every day and night I just pray that everything will be alright for her, that everything will be provided for her once she enters this world. I will make sure of that. Jev will make sure of that. I hope and I pray that this little girl will grow up happy, kind, polite, loving, sweet, respectful, courageous and to be socially aware. There are a lot of things that I want her to be but most of all, I want her to be herself, to love herself and to care for people, especially the ones in need.
And I also pray for me, that I will be protective of her, but not too much that she will feel the need to rebel against me, that I will let her be herself, that I will support her in everything that she does and I pray for patience. Lots of it.
And I also pray for Jev to have more patience than he does right now. Haha. I know he's going to be loving and a kind father, a spoiler, too. Both of us will work together on raising a good child. I really hope we'd be successful in that. Hahahaha
I guess this is how it feels like to be a mother. I am not yet there. But I will be. I have two mothers and they had different ways in raising me and I am not saying that because of that it's gonna be easy for me.. All I'm saying is that I have an idea how but it all depends on the kid, right? So, Little Saige, be a good girl if you don't want me to tie you around a tree. Joke.
xx,
dee
