Ambivalent much?

There are times in our lives that we just had it with our relatives. Too much criticism is sometimes just... too much. "You're fat" and "You have a pimple" are getting old. And fast, especially because they've been saying those like everyday for the past month that I've been here. Great. Not just my relatives plus the priests, the councilors, my friends(College,High school and childhood)... Feeling close much? They're obviously toying with my very last nerve. And they have the guts to ask me why I don't go out of our house? I wonder how'd they react if I tell them, I dont wanna go out because I might not stop myself in telling you: You'll never get married because you're one hell of an ugly spinster.

Being this big doesn't really bnother me that much. Sure I gained weight but I'm nowhere near obese. ANd there are millions of people bigger than me in this friggin' universe. And besides, I will lose this extra weight.

The big question is that they make "bantay" of what I wear yet they borrow my clothes for occasions requiring, well, the use of my clothes. And they tell me, "maypa ka magdress."

Duh.

Ambivalent much?

It's something called "Freedom of fuckin expression."

I wear what I want to wear. if you don't like it, bear in mind that I did not, am not and will not be dressing for you. If you can't stand it, NOT.MY.PROBLEM.

This has been inside me for the longest time. High school, maybe.

I remembered a conversation I had with a cousin. She told me "'gutsy' na jud diay ka mananina sa una pa." plus a smirk.

Since when did wearing a sundress "gutsy"?
I wonder.

But then again, the norm in this God-forsaken town of Albuera is blouse and pants.

SO what I wear sometimes is out of the ordinary. For them,that is.

I thought when Cebu's people's minds progressed,the Albuerano's minds did too. I thought wrong. This town's stuck in a freakin rut and frozen in time!

What puzzles me is that they criticize what I wear yet while I am still wearing the "criticized item/s", they're asking me to give it to them.

As I've said earlier, ambivalent.

And magbuot muh kung magbalik-balik ko ug watch sa TWILIGHT?
NGANO, mamatay bah muh kung muh tan-aw ko usab? Inyo bang kwarta akong gigamit?
Did I bother you about it?
I kept my fuckiing plans to myself and to the people who are part of my plans.
Ug sa dihang puro dili and inyo tubag dba?
SO FUCK OFF mga tagabukid!
You are soo out of my life.
You may appearlike you are part of it but no sweetie you ain't got a part.
CAPICHE?!?