But this time I will try.
The past weeks, the time I have spent as a DOLE-Project NARS trainee in my hometown, Albuera, had been a mix of business and pleasure. I met a lot of people, actually, I met some of them but I never really knew them until I worked there. I sure am glad that I got to know them. Isn't it nice not to be kept in the dark? Or to be forever wondering who they really are? I am just grateful that I got the chance to know them. And it feels good to know that there is life outside my comfort zone. And that outside has become a part of my life and it plays a role in it. I learned some things that I may never learn elsewhere during my stay there. And I know, time will come, that the memories I made together with my co-trainees and the RHU staff will make me smile every time I look back. And I miss them, no BS here. I truly do miss my RHU family.
Friendships.
I have made a lot of friends after college. I still am friends with my grade school, High School and College friends. We still keep in touch. Everyone's well aware that lack of communication is not due to lack of the means but lack of ... lack of... what's the term? I don't know the term. Well, I did. I just forgot. Lethologica. How sad. Maybe the friends who don't keep in touch grew tired of me already or they have found better friends who have nice rides, wide array of beautiful clothes and impressive social backgrounds. Or maybe they're just busy or busy-busyhan. Whichever, if someone really wants to see and be with you, they will find a way. Like the old adage "If there's a will, there's a way."
This adage never failed. EVER.
I have way busier friends. But we see each other in a regular basis.
Well, it's pretty obvious what's the reason so I guess I'll just let this one go.
To make things fair, I guess I have to justify something too. Whenever I feel like someone is drifting away and I see them enjoying their newfound reasons to live, I just let them go. I am a selfish person but when it comes to loved ones happiness, I don't want to hold them back. And I guess what goes around comes around, right? I have done this kind of thing countless of times so I guess this just serves me right. You may ask me, Does it hurt?
It does hurt. It took me awhile to realize that I have been hurting for a long time because some of my friends have drifted away.
But do I have the right to lament?
I don't think so. Because the thing is, as soon as I realized they are drifting, I let them go easy. I let them be thinking that I am not enough. For them. I don't really do self-pity. I get depressed for awhile and then I move on. It's a cycle really. And besides, whatever happens, if the friendship we shared is real, we'd find our way back to each other.
Growth, afterall, is important to each and every one of us. And isn't it ironic? Some friends have resurfaced just when some friends disappeared. I love how God works. KUDOS, MY AMAZING CREATOR
LOVE.
I have been officially single for 6 months now. I could go longer. Right now, I just couldn't see myself with a "love" partner or be committed or even the no-strings-attached kind of relationship. Maybe because I have been single for the longest time in the past that for me, being in a relationship is hard work. Yes, there were times that I wanted to have a constant text mate or constant date to everywhere but more often than not, I enjoy the alone time I have. I take pleasure in realizing that I don't have to answer to anyone. Well, other than my family, that is. Relationships have taken its toll on me. I have grown accustomed to being alone. But I am not lonely. In Jojo's words, I am "unsweetened" by love. I know that someday, the right person will come and make me "sweet" again. But for now, I am embracing my SINGLE-BLESSEDNESS.
I guess this is it for now. Been exerting a lot of effort to keep my thoughts on one single subject at a time.
what do you know, i don't know how to edit photos here in MacPro.
so..
xoxo,
loidee
