Pregnancy and whatnot

You got that right.
I'd be blogging about my current state more than anything in this world. Right now, I am 8 weeks and 2 days. I still have roughly about 30-32 weeks more. Oh boy!!! Or girl?

Anyway, lucky are those women who go through their pregnancy smoothly because I don't remember a day that i actually felt better or normal or at the very least not queasy since I got preggo.

Nausea, vomiting, food aversions, hypersensitivity to certain smells-- you name it, I got it all. My current bff right now is my bed. Or maybe because I am experiencing pregnancy fatigue. All I know is that I just want to stay in bed all day and all night long.

Sunday
September 30, 2012

I am 9 weeks today. My baby has graduated from embryonic to fetal stage. He/She is officially a fetus now. Yay! And it's taking on a more human look. Unfortunately for me, I haven't graduated from the first trimester signs and symptoms just yet. As far as I know, nausea and vomiting is getting worse. I can't seem to hold down everything I take in. I'm hungry all the time. I have heartburn. And if I do eat a little, I just throw up everything, even if it's water. I still want to sleep all the time. I burp all the time. I pass gas. I want to eat sweets but they just make me throw up. What to do?!?!

Trust me, I've tried everything I've learned in college. Small frequent feedings, eating crackers, no oily foods, etc etc etc. Nothing works. Sometimes I feel like I have reached my limit. Or so I thought.

I'm always thirsty, by the way. I want to drink gallons and gallons of water. But I can't. Everything that I put inside my tummy makes me throw up. Haaaay.

Sometimes I feel like I do not have the right to complain because I did this. You know, there are those moments that we need our moms because we feel like we can't take all these symptoms at once. But we just can't.

I think, aside from a broken heart, a scraped knee, or a wounded pride, pregnancy signs and symptoms, labor and delivery are also one of the events in our lives that we need our mothers. I just hope that our mothers, instead of laughing at us, enjoying our pains, should empathize with us. They've been through this. We need their support. If they don't have anything therapeutic to say, SOMETIMES, SILENCE is.

I just hope these symptoms that are holding me down the past 4 weeks would subside in the next 3 weeks. Please lang because I feel dehydrated, I am very hungry, I am always tired and I feel like biting everyone's head off. I haven't gotten out of the house in 2 weeks because the sun just makes me dizzy and nauseous.

On a lighter note:
Everything about this quote really holds true.

"What goes around, comes around."

That is all.

,
dee

I'm preggo and I know it.

September 13, 2012

So the word's out. I'm preggo. Haha. Yes, it's that funny. Well, I guess it's not really that funny. Ironic, maybe is a better word knowing that I am a nurse and I still managed to get myself knocked up. Oh well. I am not about to give you a play by play of how and why I got pregnant. I supposed we all know how it's done. What's done is done and we all have to answer to the consequences of our actions. Am I right or am I right?

We all know that pregnancies out of wedlock are unplanned. Mine is no different. But I believed right from the start that if I ever get preggers this year, God has other plans for me.

I am still in a state of denial. Don't get me wrong. It's just that I am still in the phase where I'd wake up in the morning and think "ohmygosh! I'm pregnant!"

Yes, this is unplanned. But it doesn't mean I am not happy. I am happy not because I'd be given special treatment in offices, taxi stands, etc. but because I was given this chance to be a mother. Almost everyone gets to be a mom. But I didn't want to be a part of the few who only wished to be one.

Yes, I am unemployed and I don't have a money on my name. That didn't stop me from doing what's right. I know eventually, things will turn out for the better. If not now, later. I have enough patience for that.

I know some people would say that it's sayang since I have plans for Oz, for whatever was in store for me there. I also know that my beliefs are different from other people. Yes, I was scared at first when the first wave of nausea attacked and i was even more frightened when I saw the double lines on the pregnancy test. I cried. And then I wiped my tears away, touch my belly and said, let's pray that everything's going to be alright for everyone. I BBMd Jev a photo of the PT with the caption: Congrats, daddy!
And I went on with the rest of my day.



Oh I was scared. Beyond scared, I was petrified!!! But i know i made the right choice by telling my family and just letting everything fall into place. I know deep in my heart that I made the right decision to keep my baby. If there's anything I should be courageous about, it's fighting for the life of this innocent baby inside me.

So I don't think that my life has gone to waste now that I have to let go of that Aussie dream to have this kid. I don't want to think about the what-ifs because knowing that a few months from now, something so small could make me smile amidst the troubles of this world we're living in.

And some of you may ask: Why didn't you get rid of it?

I didn't because it's the result of what I did, why should I let someone innocent pay for it? Yes the world is cruel but it's also beautiful.

This path I am choosing won't be easy. I know that. But I'm not the only one. I am not alone. I have my family, my friends and Jev. I may have caused them disappointments but this baby is a gift and I welcome him/her with arms wide open.

I am 6 weeks and 4 days now. A couple of days ago, I had my very first prenatal check up and had my transvaginal ultrasound. Seeing that thing on the screen made me tear up. What was more amazing was hearing its strong heart beat. 158bpm. It was beyond wonderful, truly a miracle.

yes, i'm not a hundred percent ready to be pregnant, let alone be a mom. But somehow, I just know that I will be. What are the first trimester and the rest of my pregnancy for, right? And besides, everything in this world is a process. And I am a work in progress.

Good luck to me!!!

xoxo,
dee