crying

I was in Boracay last week. I was with my close friend in College, Gayle, her boyfriend, Miko, his friend, Carl and the rest of Carl's gym friends. I didn't know until a couple of days before leaving for Bora that we were going with the gym people from Ramos. Imagine my anxiety. We were around 200 and we used 2 buses from Iloilo to Caticlan. The bus ride was so exhausting. Draining, I tell you. I just wanted to sleep the moment we arrived in our hotel room. But we were in Boracay and we gotta do what people who go there gotta do. Have fun and party. Oh yeah. We had the time of our lives there. I had a great time. Until my Mother called on our second day asking me how I was and where I am. I told her with eyes closed and fingers crossed that I was in fact in Bora. She got mad and said some things and ended the call. I was in Jonah's waiting for my Mango shake and Jonah's special when she called me up. I cried a river there. I wanted to just pack my things and go home.

Yes, it's my fault. I should've told her. But I never found the courage to tell her when I left for Cebu a mere 3 weeks ago. I got scared she might humiliate me in front of everyone. I know I should've gotten used to it by now but no, I can't take it. So I opted to tell her right then and there that I was there.

I learned my lesson. And I'm not going to do it again. I am just so scared of her getting mad at me. All my life, childhood and teenage years, even my college years, we never really got along. we were like cats and dogs. My mother and I are similar. We both have short tempers and a lot more. MAybe because we are so much alike that's why we don't get along. After college, actually after I passed the NLE, we got along real well. We seldom fight. I just have to say yes to everything she wants para wala'y gubot. Sometimes it's tiring and nakakabobo. But that's what the rest of my family do. gikapoy nako ani bah.

But right now, I just feel like crying my heart out because I feel like my mother has almost all the problems in the world. Pwede di na lang kunta mgpabadlong ang mga minyo na mga tawo? samuka ui. GROW UP! because if my mother's carrying your problems too, she's going to be really impatient and hot tempered and she's going to be shouting all the time. And she's only gonna see the bad things. and tomorrow is mother's day. And i so wanted to make that day special for her.

and I am here. fullybooked na tanan. And I am crying my eyes out and I am so frustrated. is this my BORACAY KARMA?

if it is, then maybe just maybe, i deserve this. I will not regret going to Boracay. I will not. I shall not! I had a great time and it is a once in a lifetime thing.

I shall never pass that way again. And if I do return to Bora, it'd be different. I know. I just know.

Happy Mother's day to my Nanay Naida, Nanay Onon, the rest of my aunts, married cousins and all the mommies in the world.

thank you sa tanan.

xoxo