Is it time to grow up?

Is it time to grow up?

I have a long list of wants in my life. My current obsession is the Promod Boots. A few days ago, I asked my Tiyo Nito if it's possible for him to buy me those boots. He said yes. I didn't tell him the price, of course. He'd probably faint if he'd know. Anyway, after days of dreaming about those boots, he finally gave me the money to buy them. He still doesn't know how much it costs. He gave me enough money to last me through December. He also told me not to ask for allowance from my mother anymore. I have been excited for days to buy them. But I realized that I don't need the boots right now. Maybe I'd just have to wait for the store to have their yearly clearance sale. Maybe then I could get the boots at a lesser price. But if that day comes and it's already gone, I guess it's not for me.

I was in Natio Ayala last Saturday with Eric. I passed a middle adult woman with her grandson. He was holding a toy. Kana gani you'd write on it and ma-erase ra pod siya? I don't know what's it called. Anyway, the little boy went to his ate and showed her the thing and asked, "Ate, pila ni siya?" The girl smiled but before she could respond the boy asked her, "Mahal na siya?" She smiled again and said yes. The boy looked crushed. And it only costs Php119.

And looking at the boy's expression crushed my heart, too. I had been lucky. When I was his age, I almost always get what I want. From toys to chocolates. I never really thought about the other kids who have almost nothing. Understandably, I still hadn't developed my Superego. I felt sorry for that kid. I still do. I wish I could have done something. This is exactly the kind of regret that I don't want to have. It makes me feel like a selfish and a lesser person. Especially now that I'm obsessing with those expensive boots and some people don't even have anything decent to eat. For the longest time, I have been wasting money. Not even thinking that they don't just grow on trees. Sometimes I do think about how my family works hard to give me a better life. Better than what they had when they were my age. But sometimes, when I am away from home, I tend to forget. And I know it's not right.

A few days to go and I'll be taking the NLE. After that, I will be forced to be responsible for myself, to grow up. Even if I don't want to. I have to. Whatever the result of the exam, I have to fend for myself na. No more wasting time. It's time to give back what was given to me.

PAYBACK.

Is it time to grow up?

Maybe. I don't know.