Cebu, its streets, the jeepneys, the cars, the people, its weather, the traffic--- these are the factors that affect my decisions everyday.
Today was no different. If it looks safe (no CITOM) for me to cross, I would. Otherwise, I wouldn't. If it was raining, I would take a cab. If not, I would walk.
Little choices.
Usually, walking alone along Gen. Maxilom triggers my Emo side. Well, notsomuch as emo but it gets me to thinking about so many things like:
- how my review went
- co-reviewees
- our speakers
- my actual exam
- how I wasted so much time, etc
When I rode the jeep today, it got me to thinking about a lot of things. Some things I'd rather keep to myself. TRUST ME, you don't wanna know the things that go on in my head.
Anyway.
Seeing the streets of Cebu, wet from the rain, with people riding bicycles, some waiting for their jeeps, people selling everything from DVDs to barbecue--- a scene from one of my favorite Indie films comes to mind. That film among other things stirred a lot of emotions, frustrations and dreams inside of me.
Movies. They're just movies, some might say. But those movies that touch your very soul are the ones worth watching a hundred times.
That movie, roused a longing in me that I know I hav to fulfill. Sooner or later, I have to for my sanity, for myself.
And when I rode the jeep today, as I passed by familiar buildings:Chowking, Rajah Park Hotel, McDo, Watson's, Anita's, Visayan, Red Ribbon, CDU Med Building, CDUH, Bo's, the Boulevard; it felt like someone pulled down a string of college memories and drowned me in them.
Memories, bad and good, never fail to make me smile.
Good memories make me smile for obvious reasons, they're good.
Bad ones make me smile because without them, I would have been the same naive girl seven years ago.
What's that saying about people never changing...?
Oh yeah.
People don't change.But they do, especially if they want to.
I, for one, did.
Technically, I am still that same girl butmy perspective, my preferences have changed. I have learned from every wrong decision, every wrong turn I made, even the unfavorable things that have happened to me, say, rejection, disloyalty, desertion and of course, heartbreaks.
I've said this before and I'm saying it again, I learned to see the glass as half-full.
As they always say,
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
When I rode the jeep today, I realized that who and how I am now is not a far cry from who and how I was back in college. I am still the same girl and a lot more. Certain things may have changed the way I view things but I still possess the same gusto I have way back then.
I may not have gotten out of the wars I fought unscathed but I survived and I learned.
And most of all, I moved on without so much as a thought from the people who said Adieu.
xoxo,
dee
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