An Adventure starts with a Goodbye

I went home over the weekend.

I just missed home so much. I missed my tatay and nanay. I missed my cousins and friends.

I just missed the solitary comfort my room gives.

Aside from missing everyone back home, I went home for another reason, to think about what I really want and what I should do about it.

And I did.

They said sometimes the right decision is also the hardest.

I guess it is. Sometimes.

When I know it's what I wanted all along. But I have to do it for me. I am being selfish. I love myself too much to inflict unnecessary pain. And I just know myself too much too.

I have made a lot of mistakes. I wish some I never did. But I learned a lot from them. Well, atleast I am trying to. And I just wished people don't condemn me for it. Afterall, everybody makes mistakes.

My friends have different views on this(my mistakes). Maybe that's the reason of my bipolarity.

But I am glad I have them. They maybe crazy but it's with them I know I am perfectly sane, that everything that I'm going through right now is normal. And that no matter what happens, no matter where life takes us, I know, I just know that I can always count on them and they would never fail to put a smile on my face.

Sometimes friends don't have to ask if something's wrong, they just know. And sometimes I don't want to say anything. Not because I want them to care but because it feels better not to. It's not that keeping all this to myself does me good, it doesn't. It's eating me up inside. But I just don't want to talk about it. Sometimes it's better for some things to be left unsaid. Maybe then it would die a natural death, just like everything else in this world. Or be forgotten.

I have lived long enough in this world to witness and experience a lot of things. I realized that it's a crazy, scary and cruel world out there. But it is beautiful and kind too. I have yet a lot to learn, new things to experience, new places to see, new people to meet.

My journey has started long before but my adventure has just begun.

I will continue making mistakes.

Someone once said that we have to experience things, to make our own mistakes to learn.

I will live my life the way I want to. And I will start cleaning it out.

I read this tweet once and it kind of stuck to me. Not only because it's funny but it's true too.

These aren't exactly the same words but it's in the same context.

"I have to make a few changes in my life and if you won't hear from me, you're one of them."

If you're brave enough to say goodbye, Life will reward you with a "new" hello.