A Time to Eat

What a day! What a day, I tell you! I've been eating like there's no tomorrow. But I feel so guilt-free. I am not food-deprived but I've been avoiding pork and other oily/fatty foods for a month now. Today, I felt like eating pork, specifically, LECHON, Inasal, or whatever you call it.

Imagine daw, not eating muy delicioso fatty and oily food for a long time, yes you'll get used to it but before that, you'll miss eating them that it makes eating stewed veggies, sutukil and other dishes feel like eating cardboard. Eventually, I got sick eating healthy food. Eck!

So today, I ate lechon. It's all I ate  for lunch plus cassava with coconut milk and sugar, sweet potato and pineapple and a little bit of rice. But all in moderation. I really don't want to have Dumping Syndrome so I made sure I only had enough lechon. You see, most post-chole patients experience diarrhea after eating fatty food. I haven't experienced that except during immediate post-op. I really consider myself lucky. Thank you God for always hearing my prayers. And thank you for not letting Fr. Felix pinch my incision site. He was an inch away from it. Grrrr.

Asa ka ngtan-aw, Fr. Felix? BWAHAHAHA

After we heard mass, we went to Ormoc to attend Fr. Soon's birthday dinner. I didn't eat lechon anymore because I've had my share during lunch. What I did was... tan-tadadan!!! CARBO-LOADING. haha I ate spaghetti and carbonara, pancake-looking thingy, empanada, chocolate cupcake and halo-halo.

Me. Me and Zhai. Us with the birthday boy, Fr, Dennis Soon.

Guests-turned-entertainers. Daisy and Zhai singing "Fireworks".

After dinner, it was still too early to go home. We decided to chill a bit at Bebidas. They had Strawberry Daquiri and poor me had to settle for Raspmocha Frappe. As it turned out, they ended up drinking my frappe because they had enough of alcohol. bwahahaha

Me and my Raspmocha Frappe from Bebidas Ormoc.

After half a pitcher of Strawberry Daquiri.

All in all, it was a food-filled day for me. I am so full I could barely fit in my underwear. BWAHAHAHA. I am currently experiencing shortness of breath due to excessive food intake. GLUTTONY na ni dai. hahaha

Things I realized today:

• It doesn't matter what others think. As long as you know who you are, what you are capable of, what they say is unimportant. 
• It's nice to be child-like, especially if dealing with conflicts. :D
• That humility is the way to go.
• To just let things be. 
• What goes around, comes around.
• No matter how much goodness you try to pass around in this world, some people are still bound to share badness. Sometimes even under a disguise.
• Money turns people into jerks/assholes.
• Some people are just plastic, naturally. Meaning INBORN and ka-plastikan. 

Enough of this crap.

It's almost midnight already. It's time to sleep. Tomorrow is another day and I swear I'm not going to waste it by thinking about useless stuff. Tomorrow will be w very productive day. :D

Goodnight, Southeast Asia!!!

Good Morning, America!!!

Good Afternoon, Oman!!!

Good Day, World!!!

XO,

Dee

I Love Taruc

I never liked people who gossip ALL THE TIME. Or the ones who have nothing better to do than watch out for people to screw up then talk about it. Or the ones who made talking about other people their lifetime job.

The statement above is totally unrelated with my post. Or is it?

Anyway, I love Taruc. I love where I came from and I am proud to be Tarucanon. No matter where I go, I will always come back here. This is HOME.

Sometime back in 2011, after so much pondering, I decided to make a page for Taruc where all the Tarucanons can interact no matter where they are in the world. My goal is to keep them updated about everything. Just like NOKIA, Connecting People. Hihihi. I know, I'm so funny, right? Pwede nako mag-apply sa 22nd St.? Bwahahaha

So before I made it official, I had to make sure that I can fully work on this page, update it regularly, so on and so forth. At first, I was the only administrator of the page and later on, I realized that I can not do it on my own. I need help from people who are actually IN Taruc. Kahibaw na man mo, NPA (No Permanent Address) baya ko. bwahaha So I asked some people if they are willing to be admins and that if they can do the responsibilities it entails. Despite their busy school schedules and household chores, they were able to update the page every now and then. We have a few activities up our sleeves and we're slowly trying to  work on them. God-willing, it will take place within this year.

One project we have done successfully is the Sto. Nino Feeding Program spearheaded by my cousin, Ate Jenjen (cousin-in-law, hihihi). Without the support of our fellow Tarucanons here and abroad, the two feeding programs we had in Taruc Proper and Lower Calingatnan would not have been possible. So once again, from the deepest recesses of my hypothalamus, A VERY BIG THANK YOU!

I am proud to say that we didn't use a single centavo for personal gains. We have proper liquidation posted and we did our program with a very honest heart and with the sole purpose of feeding the children living in our barangay. So with that, I hope we gained the trust of the people to help us again with yet another feeding program next year. We are all thinking of making it an annual activity. We are accepting volunteers to do the survey and for helping in the preparation of the said project. Whatever's left of the money we had, we donated it for the children's snacks during the Sinulog dance contest in Albuera. So not a single centavo was wasted.

In relation to this, we are also accepting orders for t-shirt printing. We have three designs now, one being the "I <3 Taruc" design and the other two are still on the works. If you have inquiries regarding the orders and printing, please don't hesitate to send me a message in Facebook, Twitter or Tumblr, and if you do have my number, just text me. :D

Forgive my fat-face. hihihi And my very existent eyebags. 

WITH THIS, I AM HAVING A CONTEST GIVEAWAY.

Here's what you have to do:
1. Like the Facebook Page
2. Join the Facebook Group
3. Post an edited photo of the Sinulog dance that took place last Saturday on the Facebook page and include the phrase: "More fun in Taruc."

The winner will be chosen through drawn by lots. The winner will be notified through personal message. He/she will win a t-shirt with his/her design of choice (choose from the three designs above).

OOOPS: Here's the catch. YOU HAVE TO BE A TARUCANON. Meaning, mag-uli-an kag Taruc, Katipunan, Calingatnan. Or imo mga kadugo kay from these places. Or naminyo kag taga-Taruc. Capiche?

Join now and have the chance to win a Tarucanon T-shirt.

xoxo,
DEE

Sinulog in Albuera

We just had our first ever Sinulog celebration earlier today. There was street dancing around the town, followed by the Sinulog dance contest in the rotunda. There were only four contingents: Balugo, Canlalin, Sto. Nino, and from our barangay, San Pedro. Our kids were practicing every night and they were pretty excited to perform.

Sad to say, our group placed third. But oh well, you win some, you lose some, right?
 I don't really know who won or lost. I must say, I couldn't care less. What matters is that they did their best and we know we deserve better. It's notsomuch as sportsmanship, I think it's more on being fair and just.

As much as I wanted to say more I just have to stop myself, not because I am afraid but I just don't want people to take what I write/post out of context.

Anyway... GOOD VIBES... Good Vibes... Good vibes...

Here are the photos that I took today.

Effin Safari is acting up and keep on busting my uploads. I'll just upload the photos when I have the time tomorrow. :D

Chill people. :D

Peace out!
DEE

Updates and Whatnot

I ran out of stuff to do and write about. So what now?

Hahaha

Last Friday, we went to my brother's house in the city because they celebrated their fiesta. It was a typical Pinoy Fiesta. hihihi

I love FIshtail. bwahahaha

I was MIA most of the time because I stayed inside to chat with my cousin. So yeah, I basically missed the whole party. thankyouverymuch.

I'm still vain. bwahaha I took a few photos when we got home from Ormoc.

We also had the part ii of our feeding program last Sunday. It was a success and I hope we could host another program next year. We're hoping to raise Php 100,000 because we're aiming for more people to feed. We were able to give out 580 kids from our barangay and its sitios. I am so thankful for the people who donated and the ones responsible for making the program possible.

We had a few games. This being one of them. Believe me, it's not that easy to keep the spoon in my mouth. bwahaha

It would be lovely to make these kids smile, even for just awhile.

Expressing their gratitude.

The Staff. The people who made it possible.

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO THE PEOPLE WHO MADE THE FEEDING PROGRAM A HUGE SUCCESS.

On to other things.

Nang Belen, Noy Loloy and Marie are going back to New Zealand in a couple of days so they had their send off party last night. They served seafood and I was in Food Heaven. Everything was just muy deliciouso!!! There was dancing and everyone's just having a great time. Imma post the video I took on youtube ASAP. 

I have couple of videos to be posted on YouTube. I will post em as soon as I can. Plus some dancing vids I took last night. I really need to buy that Sanyo Video Cam. Come February, Imma buy you!!!

I wore my hair in bun the whole afternoon. I used the spin pins I bought last December and I love em!

I was bored as pack last night I ended up playing with Photobooth yet again. Bwahahaha

At first the photos was just like this one.

I don;t know what i was thinking. Bwahhaha I look really weird. 

I scare myself sometimes.

Oh well. My parents are going to Ilocos Sur tomorrow and stay there for 5 days. I decided not to leave for Cebu tomorrow since noone will be home the next five days if I did go.

Oh well what a boring post about a very boring week.

I need a change of scene.

Please buy me a one-way ticket to the moon.

xoxo,

dee

Untitled

I told myself that 2011 would be a year of adventure. I tried to make it one but I guess it was more of a year of letting go, 2011. I really don’t have to reiterate everything that I’ve been through the past year to justify why I said that. I think planning to make a year whatever we want it to be is just that, planning. We really couldn’t force God to do our will, could we? We just have to learn to trust him fully with our lives.

What kind of year would my 2012 be?

I’m almost sure that it would be a little bit of everything: Fun, Adventure, Challenges, Happiness, Fulfillment, and I really do want to make it a year filled with wonderful beginnings. I would love to have a satisfying job and I would move mountains just to relearn what falling in love and being loved felt like.

After being single far longer than I intended myself to be, I guess I am truly ready to actually commit to a relationship that is marriage-serious. Maybe. Okay, Maybe I’m not yet ready to get hitched and get knocked up. I still get goose bumps just thinking about marriage, getting pregnant, and raising a little me. Trust me, I don’t want to raise someone similar or related to me. If ever I do get married, I will pray a thousand Pater Nosters and Ave Marias just so my offspring would not be like me. Why? There are a bajillion reasons why. Hahahaha First would be, I was such a fugly fetus with lobster skin, crooked teeth, perennially present baby fat, and the nastiest temper EVER. I would push cousins off windows, scratched their faces, pinched them until they cried blood and I wouldn’t eat my now-favorite Curly Tops/Flat Tops. I was known for my infamous nickname, Tigre and, of course, my eye rolling.

But I wasn’t that bad. As it turned out, Catholic School for 16-17 years and being exposed to meaner bullies and whatnot in Cebu did me good and tamed me a lot.  Bwahahaha I learned the art of Control. I learned to control my temper and my tongue just a teeny bit.

And yeah, I still can’t afford to have a family of my own. I want my future kids to have more than what my parents provided my brothers and me. How do people raise socially aware, compassionate and kind children and not ambivalent ones like me?

I mean, I am aware about a lot of things, too aware I might add, and I am compassionate and kind. It’s just that, I have bipolar tendencies. Bwahaha I am a walking contradiction.

Anyway, layo na kaau ug naabtan ang ako blog when all I really wanted to say was, I am now accepting suitors. Bwahahaha I kid, I kid.

I just want to express just how much I want 2012 to be my greatest year to date. I want to be able to do what I want to do, what I’ve been holding off and what makes me happy. All I ever want is to make this a big year for me. Career and LOVE life. Bwahaha isingit jud. Hala sige, isingit na ang love life. I am now accepting suitors. BWAHAHAHA Someone once said that Jokes are half-meant. BWAHAHAHA

This year, I am turning 25, a quarter of a century. Yes, I am growing older and wiser, hopefully. And no, I don’t plan to last a hundred years. My health just won’t allow that and I’m pretty sure I’ll be one of those old hags with dementia, as did our elders as I observed. And when my Lolo used to call me Caryl every time I asked him who I was, I really wasn’t sure if I wanted to laugh or cry. Just like the McDo commercial. So no, I don’t want to reach a hundred just so my descendants could wipe shit off my ass. It’s not so much as pride; it’s more of trying not to be a burden to them or be hurt over and over again because of rejection. Wow. Advance na kaayo ako thinking. Maybe I should relearn to cross the bridge when I get there.

And here I go again, making a post that runs in circles. Whatever it is that I wanted to say is now forgotten. As I’ve read somewhere, “Everything in this world is just fleeting…”

So is my memory.

XOXO,

DEE

Post-op: Day Eleven

Here are the things that I've been waiting for and they're definitely worth the wait! I got shirts, shorts, a dress and shoes and I love everything!!! I can not wait to actually wear them! Haha I am really feeling the love y'all! I feel like the Christmas spirit has not left our house just yet. To the people who sent them to us, thank you from the deep recesses of my hypothalamus!!!

Aeropostale shorts and Rue 21 tank top.

Blouse and pants

Aeropostale dress

Of course these are not originals. Haha I can not afford these. haha

Who doens't love Ferreros?

A few minutes ago, there was an earthquake!!! Waaaaah! We should've shouted "BUWA... BUWA... BUWA..." Bwahahaha that word was supposed to stop earthquakes, said the old people!!! hahaha what do you think of earthquakes, magic? hahaha Just say the magic word and it will disappear! bwahahaha seriously people, 21st century and some still believe in that crap.. Oh well.

It took me almost two weeks to upload this. hahaha I just can't resist not taking a photo of my scarless ABS a couple of nights before my surgery. Yes, people! I still haven't gotten over the fact that I have a 3-inch diagonal scar on my subcostal area. Losing an organ is something I didn't prepare myself for. So sue me. LOL Seriously, bear with my loss. Bwahahaha I'm so sorry for the poor resolution of the photos since I used Photobooth. I can't very well use my camera since you know... hihi

I just learned that my incision is called Kocher incision. The incision is actually on my right side, since I was using the webcam, that's why it's flipped. :D

See, my gorgeous abs? I am so ripped. bwahahahahaha

This is 5 days post-op. The area around the site is messy since the plaster I was using was so sticky... 

Need to protect myself from the draft.. BRRRRR! I got coughs and cold. Thank goodness, my site does not hurt anymore. oh yeah, my cousins and I helped ourselves with this bar of chocolate from someone. :D

The story of my boring life. :D

I still have this "swelling" thing above my incision. And yes, I am still paranoid about it. What if it's....? What if I won't wake up the next day? tsk tsk tsk.. Mura jud ko'g dili nurse. Haha Forgive me.

XOXO,
DEE 

It's the thought...

The holidays, aside from it being the birth of Jesus Christ, also entails lots of parties, reunions and of course, gifts. Filipinos worldwide always make it a point to go home during holidays. And if they can't make it, balikbayan boxes filled with goodies almost always take their places. 

I love how our relatives abroad tend to remember us everytime they are filling their boxes for their families. I, for one, love getting stuff from them, even if it's a bar of soap, chocolate or jam. I love how these products smell of a foreign land. Haha 

These are just some of the things I received during the holidays and this month. I feel the love y'all! 

By the way, thank you so much for always keeping us in your thoughts and for including us in your boxes. 

My parents, brother and I love everything we received from all of you! I won't include your names here for your privacy. You all know who you are and I just want to thank you for the gifts. Everything is appreciated. :D

Tubes of Lipstick, lip gloss and perfume.

I love!

New Addition. <3

Bars of soap, boxes of chocolates, bottles of perfume

Chocolates, Jams, Nuts, Soaps, et cetera

I still have a few things in Cebu and I can't wait to see them! Thank you sa mga donors! I really love them all!

xoxo,

Dee

Post- Surgery Syndrome

More than a week have passed since my surgery and yet, I still haven’t had the courage to part ways with the removed organ. It’s still in the small jar inside the paper bag where I placed it before I got discharged from the hospital.

I edited it so that it wont be that gross. This is not for the faint of heart.

I don’t quite understand why I haven’t thrown it away or buried it somewhere. The initial plan was to incise it and get the stones and make it as souvenir. Somehow, I couldn’t take doing that because in a way, that’s acknowledging the fact that indeed, I don’t have my gallbladder anymore. I am a one-less-organed person. I know some people, especially the ones who haven’t gone through surgery, would think that this is just too dramatic. Overacting, some would say.

I was diagnosed with Cholelithiasis last June 2010. I was supposed to have it removed then but somehow I never felt ready. I would joke about it with my surgeon, I never treated it that seriously. It’s not that pain attacks occurred everyday.  I survived every attack and learned that a few foods really does trigger pain attacks. So I stopped eating them.

What made me decide to have it removed?

It’s not that my family forced me to. Let’s just say that if it were up to me, I would just leave it as it is. But then again, if I were to have an attack in a foreign country and my pain relievers would not suffice, what would I do? I was given a week to actually prepare myself physically, psychologically and emotionally about the impending operation. My idea of preparation was to not think about it, which I think now was a bad move for me.

I don’t quite understand how I completely feel about this whole thing. When I think about my cholecystectomy, I don’t think about myself as a nurse who had her gallbladder removed, but as a person with no gallbladder anymore. I don’t know if anyone of you understand how I feel right now.

It’s like a lot of emotions all rolled into one sushi mat. Hahaha

Maybe it’s safe to say that I am in a state of denial. And yes, I always find it hard to let go of anything for a while. This surgery was not pre-meditated. And by premeditation, I mean a few weeks of actually thinking about what I want, what I need and how I will survive it.

What I tried to do was document some of the things that occurred Pre-op and post-op. I did not dare ask if I could take pictures intra-op. Do I really want to see myself cut open? No, I don’t think so. Haha Or my crazy time in the recovery room? No way, Jose! I really made a fool out of myself in my RR time. Four doses of freakin’ pain relievers did nothing to alleviate my pain. Instead, music! Damn MUSIC was my diversion! Hahaha. Looking back now, I realized that music really does help me in not thinking about a lot of things.

“Thank you for the music….. “

So back to having-a-hard-time-letting-go-of-my-gallbladder thoughts, it’s like chopping off a few inches of your hair. Like giving away your most favorite toy/dress, etc. Just like spending the money you've been saving for months. That's how I feel about having my gallbladder removed.

Let me share this quote from Grey's Anatomy:

Surgery is extreme. We cut into your body, take out pieces, and put what's left back together. Good thing life doesn't come with a scalpel, because if it did, when life started to hurt, we just cut and cut and cut. The thing is, what we take away with a scalpel, we can't ever get back. So, like I said, good thing..

There's always about losing things that makes me... Sad. Especially if I can't take it back anymore. In addition to this post-surgery syndrome I'm feeling, I have these post-surgery paranoia about post-op complications. Haaay naku. Kill me. 


XOXO,
Dee

Healthy Breakfast

A week ago, prior to my operation, I tried my best to eat healthy. Hihihi Got Milk?

An Answered Prayer.

I was woken up by a gnawing (all kinds of) pain in my post-op site around 9 in the morning. Tatay did not dare wake me up again. I slept so late because my throat itches every now and then. What a painful way to live my life. For now. This will be over soon.

I was looking through my old stuff and I found these just laying around my room. Scribbles, thoughts, drafts, one-liners. Reading them all made me realized just how much things have changed in the last couple of years. 

More than a couple of years ago, I went through yet again, another emotional ordeal. But I got over it faster than I did the thing before that.

Letting Go.

Two words. Just two simple words but somehow, doing this is hardest thing to do in this world.

Here are some of the things I wrote back in 2008-2010.

"I know things are pretty scary right now but we're gonna be on the other side pretty soon."

 "No matter how wicked or rotten a person is, I still find it in my heart to be thankful that such person exists. Without him/her, we won't have a visual example of a bad person. We'd learn not to be like them."

 "The thing about doing what you want that's against friends and family's advise is that you feel like you have no right whatsoever to lament/mourn/rant/complain when things don't turn out the way you hoped it would."

 "Letting go might be the most difficult thing to do but it could also be the right thing. Feelings do change. What I feel may not fade overnight but it will in time."

 "Now, I kind of realized that both of us are just passing in each other's lives. What happened to us is just passing. A feeling, a sudden feeling and we got overwhelmed."

"There's always a rainbow after the rain."

"I need friends who will bring out the best in me, not my worst."

 "I realized that I still have my friends while I wait for my happy ever after."

"I am in the process of accepting the loss as God's grace."

"There's something wrong with how we think about priests. We tend to forget what they are. They're humans, too, just like us."

I also found some lines from books, et cetera that struck me in more ways than one.

"And suddenly, there was nothing left to say, nowhere to go, but gone. "

"Get some rest. All the same problems will be there tomorrow. You can't fix everything in one day. And tomorrow there will be a whole load of shit to deal with. Into each day, some shit must fall. "

"Never, never, never, never! Give up." Winston Churchill.

"It is more fitting for a man to laugh at life than to lament over it." Seneca 

"The world is fleeting; all things pass away. But before they do, I want to enjoy them."

"Know yourself." John W. Gardner.

"He who receives a good turn should never forget it; he who does one should never remember it."

"The robe of Tolerant Indifference can be put on. (Not possible to love all.) 

"Don't feel personally, totally, irrevocably responsible for everything going on around you.... That's my job.

 Signed: GOD." 

Three years back, I wrote these on a piece of paper:

1. Rainbow after the rain.
2. More talks over less coffee.
3. My own Edward Cullen.
4. My dreams coming true.
5. Sunrise after the darkest of nights.
6. Friends who will bring out the best in me.
7. Belief that anything is possible.
8. Courage to finally do what I've been putting off.
9. Promises that are not broken.
10. A heart that forgives.
11. A good life and a healthy body.
12. ...

With all these, I learned and realized.

I am so glad that the God we have is a very loving one. Imagine a world not being able to forget. Always remembering the best times and of course, the worst times. Easy access to every memory, every feeling, every thought. It would be the most painfully loaded life. He always has a solution, an antidote, a partner for everything. Isn't he amazing? And when we start our year with tragedies, loss, grief, somehow, we find ourselves saying goodbye not to a bad year but a wonderful one. He always manages to  balance out everything.

God, you are simply amazing. :-) And I love you more for what you make me realize with everything that you give me. I have a lot of dreams and goals in life. So as my wants. You don't give me everything all at once. Instead, you give me what I need when I need it. Every night, I pray to you to give me courage to face each day. You don't give me instant courage. What you give me is a situation that would make me brave. I also asked you to bless me with patience and you always throw people to test what's left of it. Never then did I realized that everything I ask of you, you give me, but not in the form that I want, but in the form of what I needed at that time. Another amazing thing is that, I always ask you to give me someone who will love me unconditionally and surround me with people who do. One would think that I want someone to be with me for life. Then God gave me babies. Babies are amazing creatures, just like Him. (until they grow older, that is. :-D) I would always ask you to make me brave and the past years, you have thrown nothing but situations that would make me the bravest I could be. I asked you to make me healthy, my cholelithiasis and choledocholithiasis had been the bane of my existence for almost two years, now, it's gone. I am on the road to healthy living once more. I asked you for wisdom and you gave me a lot choices and decisions to make. I told you I wanted to do something meaningful with my life that I wanted to go to Africa to volunteer, you didn't give me that. Instead you made me look around me. You gave me the wisdom, the courage and the strength to create the Feeding Program who made all the kids and their parents happy, even for just a day. That is something meaningful and worthwhile.

And by the way, I asked you to make me rich. And rich I am. With family, friends and people who love me and will never leave. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

This is a whole new year and with that comes a lot of hopes, wishes and dreams added to my previous ones. If I ask God that I want the latest Macbook Pro, iPad and iPhone, a Sanyo Videocam, to travel at least twice this year and to help my family in my own little way, I just know what he will give me. Or maybe he has already. :D

I love you, God, for always being there for me.

Do you guys wanna know what's the 12th thing I wrote? Look at the title, that's it. :D

xoxo,

Dee 

Cholecystectomy experience.

‘’We found love in a hopeless place…

I laid myself down on the operating room table.

OR lights, so bright it hurt my eyes.

Nasal cannula attached.

I felt so light. Almost High.

I felt something prick my lumbar area. No Pain, just the feeling of something being inserted.

Spinal Anesthesia.

Tingling sensation.

I couldn’t raise my legs.

Then.

Darkness.

I woke up gasping for air, I couldn’t breathe.

I could feel the hands of my anesthesiologist, heard her asked me what I needed.

No words came out of my mouth. I couldn’t talk. All I ever wanted at that time was oxygen.

Darkness.

Bright lights again.

Darkness.

I felt extreme pain. Pain, like someone butchering my abdomen.

I could feel tears down my face.

I saw my mother. I cried for her never to leave me because I was in excruciating pain.

I reached out for her.

Darkness.

I asked for MUSIC. MUSIc. MUSic. MUsic. Music….

Darkness.

I told them to play the dee.lovesongs playlist.

Nobody seemed to hear me.

I looked up, saw the laptop, reached out and played some song that I couldn’t remember. LOUD.

Darkness.

I saw Gino.

Darkness.

I saw sir Mark; I tried my best to talk sense with him.

Darkness.

I saw Recley, I forgot what we talked about.

Darkness.

I saw Luchie laughing.

Darkness.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Baga-a na lang jud nako ug nawng. hahaha Naka-dare pa jud ko ug request ug music in spite of the pain. hahaha Party-party sa Recovery room. haha

This is what I remembered. I'm not even sure if this even happened. haha

I'm gonna make another post about my experience, feelings, etc soon. hihihi

xoxo,

Dee

Thank you!

It really came down to this. Hahaha drama ra kaayo!

I just want to thank everyone who came to see me in the hospital. I really appreciate you all. Even the people, whom I didn’t expect to visit, came and stayed for a while. I hope they could forgive me for drifting in and out of consciousness. I was bombarded with different kinds of pain relievers. You know na, heavy-drinker, dili talaban ug medicines. Hahaha It took a long while for the pain meds to take effect on me. NO JOKE! It took 4 doses of at least 2 different pain meds post-op for me not to feel the pain. I will make another post for that experience.

Anyway, I just want to put everyone’s name here, to thank him or her for taking the time to see me in the hospital.

Mila, Maribel, Angela. (My first ever visitors, ang wala jud nakabasa sa ako blog.)

Baga, Niknik, Tiyo Supring and TIya Menia.

Tiyo Dandy, Tita Maggi and Jasmine.

Tiya Gonia, Joy and Kaykay.

Tiya Ceding and Tiyo Bembi.

Jackee and Inday Boranday.

Tiya Bingbing, Tiyo Norman and Alex.

Tiya Landa, Tiya Marissa, Tiya Tining, Tiya Purita and Isabelle, Salamat sa pagbisita. Nalingaw ko ninyo. Haha saba kaayo.

Fr. Roy- Bisag imo ko giyagaan na wala koy ligo. Sige na lang. You visited me; it’s the thought that counts man daw.

Our ODH Chief Nurse: Thanks for dropping by

Our ODH Assistant Chief Nurse, thank you!

My ODH supervisors: Mam Vic, Mam Bebot and Mam Cecil.

My Charge Nurses: Tita Joanne, Mam Dess, Sir Tata, Mam Juris and Mam Chang.

My Nursing Aides: Mam Precy

My RR nurses: Mam JO, salamat kaau sa pain relievers. Hahahaha

Recley, Luchie ug uban RN Heals on duty. Salamat sa paghatag nako ug permit to play music so loudly.

Ration: Thank you for always putting extra food on my tray.

IWs: bwahaha I know bug-at kaau ko and it’s your job but still, you handled me with extra care.

Tiya Ningning and Joshua.

Ate Jen, thank you sa paghelp with the urinal. Hihihihi

Regine and Ritchel, thank you for staying here while I was in the OR and still recovering.

Ninya, Thank you sa pagvisit. Nalingaw ko.
Nang Glenda: Salamat sa pagdala sa Doritos ug sa Masareal na dili na nako pwede makaon. haha

Papa Lor, thank you sa paghapit on my last day. Ikaw jud ang pinakalast ni-visit.

Nang Arlene, thank you for staying with me for two nights kay busy kaau ang mga dalaga sa Feeding Program ug sa uban activities.

Intoy and Daisy, thank you for staying with me Thursday and Friday night, at least nakapahuway gamay si Gino and for helping me pagsul-ot sa tanan. Post-op pain + IVF= bad combination.

Manoy Gengen, thank you so much for texting me if I needed anything and for visiting every night.

Boyet, salamat sa pagdrive and pagvisit.

Gino, thank you for being present all through out my confinement, I really appreciate it. I know you’re tired kay you’re still sleeping and it’s 9.30 am already. I know that it’s really tiring and boring to stay in the hospital. An hour felt like a day. I hope nalingaw ra sad ka sa atoh pagcheck-in didto. Bwahaha.

Manoy Rommel, thank you for always checking in on me, calling me before and after the surgery and for visiting me many times in the hospital and bringing us dinner.

My OR team: Thank you so much for the time and effort. Successful jud ang operation. My surgeons, anesthesiologists and nurses, salamat kaau.

Nang Ruby, unsaon na lang jud kung wala ka. Thank you so much!!!! Ang room, everything. Thank you kaau!!! Dako jud kaau na tabang. Salamat Kaayo.

Nanay and Tatay, Salamat sa tanan-tanan.

Text messages:

Tintin. Eric. Gayle. Ina S. Tita Beth. Daphne Reyes-Ablen.

Calls:

Espee, Nanay Onon, Anne Marie, John. Nang Caryl and David.
Twitter mentions: Sheena, Icon.

Facebook Likes and Comments: I cannot enumerate them all. Hihihi Thank you!

A simple thank you is not enough. No words could ever describe how much I appreciate the sincerity in everything you did. I am at a loss for words knowing that you all cared to visit. It made me realize just how wealthy I am in this life.  Murag ako ra siguro ang patient didto na grabe kadaghan ang ni visit. Haha as in, everytime naay mulakaw, naa na sad mu-puli. Even though I was groggy most of the time, I couldn’t help but smile and be happy knowing that a lot of people visited me. Its times like these that would make us realized just how much our peers appreciate us. Sa tanang nitabang nako, tan-awon jud ni nako na dakung utang-kabubut-on ninyo. In God’s perfect time, ako na sad ang mutabang ninyo.

I know that this blog is expected of me, that this is just a simple thank-you post but with this, I know I won’t forget the people who were there for me in times when I felt like I couldn’t take the pain anymore. Yes, it’s just a simple thank-you but it came from my heart, with utmost sincerity.

Once again, I would like to thank everyone who came to visit me in the hospital. I am eternally grateful.

Xoxo,

Loida Cayanong

When tomorrow never comes

I reallly don't know what to make of my current situation. I feel like there's a drum inside my chest. Waaaaaaaah! I am so scared. I know it'd be alright and I trust my surgeons. Plus the surgery that I'm going to have is not really new to the medical field. It's like appendicitis na lang. Chicken!

But still just the thought of going into surgery just scares the living daylights out of me. I'm not really bothered about having a diagonal scar in my abs bwahahaha but I am scared about something else entirely, too. Again, this is what I call Karma. Gaba. Mirisi. Haaaay.

Now, I don't know who's going to stay with me in the hospital since this weekend is also our Sinulog celebration and we have our feeding program. I really don't want to impose on my cousins and family. I don't want them to miss the fun because I'm being such an inutil. If only I could do things on my own, I would. But I know well enough that going to the bathroom, etc requires a lot of effort when one has an IV line. promise. Even texting is effort kaayo sa efflane.

One priest asked me late this afternoon after he prayed over me, Wala ka nahadlok? (Aren't you afraid?)

No, I'm not scared. I'm just going to undergo a freakin' major operation. I am not afraid.
I wanted to say. haha just kidding. No, I'm not kidding. bwahaha. Yes, people, even under a lot of anxieties and stress, I talk like this. I am sarcastic by nature. So sue me.

But I answered, Of course, I am. I just try not to think about it. There's no use thinking of fear. 


I am not scared, per se. I am just nervous about the operation that something might go wrong, e.g. power failure, discovery of other illnesss/disease/condition, accidental ligation of other tubes inside my ABS, or worst-case scenario, I might die. Okay, the last thing is just being plain paranoid and psychotic.

I am really nervous now.

I am going there with my cousin and driver. See, I'm so brave, going to the hospital without my parents. It's like braving the vaccines back in elementary! But seriously, it's okay with me. I mean, they're busy and I really don't want to be such a pain in the butt about this whole surgery thing. I mean it's not like I'm dying or anything.

I just hope that when all this has passed, I will come out of this, well, alive and wiser and of course, healthier-minus-the-gallbladder.

I wonder if it's possible for me to feel phantom pain? I mean, I am losing an internal organ. I just hope that my liver, etc will compensate well with the loss of my gallbladder. It just hit me that I am losing it. I feel like crying. I'm scared, really scared now. I may appear calm and collected but deep inside I am losing my mind. WAAAAAAAAH!

I feel like running around in circles until I get cramps in both legs!!!

WAAAAAAAAAAAH!

My friends, I am asking you to include me in your prayers. Thank you!

XOXO,
Dee

P.S.

For my would-be visitors, please don't visit me on Friday. You won't be able to see me on that day. However, you can grace me with your ever-wonderful presence on Saturday onwards. I will be admitted tomorrow, Thursday, January 5, 2012. For the room number, just text me or any of my family/relatives. Thank you very much!

God bless us all.

Life During Breakfast

Priceless thoughts usually come around eating breakfast or any meal alone + some old music + foreseeable crisis. Feel nimo ka-level nimo sa ka Wise ang Dalai Lama.

My room is like a red room for developing photos. Dark. Haha

My breakfast on the third day of the New Year is super sosyal! I call it my Healthy-Unhealthy Breakfast. O diba, Sosyal!!! Palakpakan.

On my Menu:

·      Sari-saring utan

·      3 small slices of Christmas Ham

·      Half a mango

·      A handful of grapes

·      1 whole ponkan

·      1 glass of milk

·      2 small slices of flourless cake

·      1 big slice of leche flan

Halfway through my meal, busog nako!!! Ikaw daw kuno feel nimo naa sa Bangkok! Hagoooy. Abnormal jud. This is not gluttony! I will eat these until lunch! Bwahahaha

Took two bites of leche flan and as I savor the taste in my mouth, my brain, always the killjoy, counted the “cholesterol”. Kesyo low fat, low cholesterol ako for the rest of my life. Sayop ako diet man gud because it’s low salt, less glucose. That’s why the sodium in my system is low and my sugar is normal. Haaay naku! Why can’t we just eat what we want without the consequences of extra fat around the ab and thighs and arms? Gone were the days when I could eat anything and not gain a pound. I enjoyed my fast metabolism for 3 years back in college. I could run 5-6 rounds in Abellana without stopping. 

Now, I can’t even run halfway. Bwahaha Abuso sa lawas. This is what they call Karma.

This is a cake from my brother. it's flourless. it's consistency is like a dragonfruit. :D it's good.

Anyway, I just want to share a few things I learned about breakfast. This is usually the meal that we always take for granted and we shouldn’t. 

Here’s why:

• It is the most important meal of the day. Some would say that I've missed breakfast all my life, I'm okay, I'm perfectly healthy. yaddi-yadda-yadda. Breakfast as we all know, breaks the fasting we all have when we sleep. So our nutrients, sugar and energy level is low. It recharges our brain and body to be more efficient in our daily activities. Missing breakfast will catch up with you in the long run.
• If you want to shed the pounds, eat breakfast. Eating breakfast pumps up your metabolism. When you go to starvation mode, your body will compensate thus decreasing your metabolism and instead of burning fat, it will burn lean muscle.
• It will make you hungrier. Obviously, if you're really hungry then there's a tendency that you'd eat more. 

I guess 99% of you know these three facts. Oh well. I'm counting on the 1% to appreciate these information. Hahaha

So I started blogging midmorning and now its 30minutes past 12. woo-hoo. Okay, I had something to do on the internet, been searching for cheap airline tickets. What can I say, I'm cheap! hahaha

It starting to feel like it's another day. Oh well. Life.

Still hoping for a great 2012! 

XOXO,

Dee